"Not Me!" Monday....

I am sure that the employees of the City of Suwanee do NOT think that I am a total and complete idiot....they surely do NOT think that I am totally clueless, and I absolutely did NOT receive ANOTHER phone call from their finance department.  It seems that I did NOT forget to sign the check that I mailed in for our water payment....I did NOT have to go to City Hall once again to sign my check.  I did NOT face the same lady that I met last month when I mailed her my car payment instead of my water bill....

My sweet girl did NOT have an explosion on Sunday morning that somehow got all over her shirt, but NOT her pants...I was NOT just planning on taking off her shirt and letting her go around "topless."  When discarding her shirt, she did NOT proceed to ruin her pants as well. I did NOT just strip her down and let her hang out in her diaper for the next two hours....we also did NOT take lots of pictures of her like this....

We did NOT have book character dress-up day at school.  I did NOT just decide to go as a "teacher"...don't ask me which book that was from.  I did NOT have a student that dressed up as MICHAEL JACKSON... (and, yes...it is the Michael Jackson you are thinking of....) He did NOT dress as the werewolf from the Thriller video.  I did NOT have to break up arguments all day because every other five-year-old in our kindergarten class was just certain that he was just a scary wolf since they had obviously never heard of MJ the King of Pop or the Thriller video for that matter.

On our fabulous weekend trip to the mall I did NOT have to find a restroom where I could nurse Libbi.  I did NOT feel like I had hit the jackpot because I found a private restroom in Macy's that also had a leather chair!!  Score!  After feeding her, I did NOT proceed to change her diaper while she was lying in my lap because there was NOT another place to lay her.  This did NOT make her just a little bit unhappy and uncomfortable, so I did NOT have to continue to hold her while I did my business....

Jeffrey and I do NOT lie in bed at night and make bets on what we can hit with pairs of socks.  We do not "shoot" our socks into random places.  We are NOT totally cool like that.  I am NOT 0/4 in throwing my socks through the bathroom doors....

Finally I am NOT sitting in a spotless house right now, because I did NOT cave and finally ask our cleaning lady to come back....I am NOT utterly mortified by the state in which she saw my house, because our bathrooms were NOT reminiscent of a gas station, but....it was definitely NOT totally worth every single penny!!!

Happy Monday!!