sleeping beauty

I could never have imagined one year ago today (April 20, 2009) the ways that this precious face would change my life.  Never in a million years did I think that I could love her so much that I would barely be able to rock her to sleep at night without tears of thankfulness falling down my cheeks.  

I have never doubted the power of our God, but let me tell you, there is something about carrying a baby that just takes my reverence of Him to a whole new level. I am overwhelmed with a sense of awe every time I look at my sweet girl. What an amazing gift that he would entrust this precious life in my care.

One year ago, my baby was tucked safely inside me growing day by day and capturing my heart with each little kick, punch, and flutter. I remember LIVING for the ultrasounds.  There was nothing better than getting a glimpse of my baby.  My heart instinctively knew she was my child and I loved her before I even knew her. But, despite what my heart felt, there was something about having her growing inside of me that made it so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that my child was a moving, living, breathing part of me.

Jeffrey and I constantly talked about what our lives would be like once she arrived. He took practice spins around the house with an empty stroller (sometimes a little too fast for my liking), we tried out all the new baby contraptions (just to make sure they were safe - ha!) and we laughed about all the possible shenanigans we were sure to get into.

  Throughout my entire pregnancy,  I could easily imagine our life with a baby.  I could picture us bringing her home and settling into our new life as a family of three without any hesitation.  The one thing I could not imagine, was what she would look like.  No matter how hard I tried, I simply could not fathom what my baby would look like.  Would she have dark hair? light hair? no hair?  Would she be big or little?  Would she have brown eyes or blue? And (most importantly - ha!) would she look like me or would she look like Jeffrey?

I had no way of knowing that she would have the cutest little button nose, or that her eyes would be so blue that we would have no idea who they came from.  I could not have known that she would already have (almost) 8 teeth that she loves to show off when she smiles.  I would never have guessed that she would have light (almost blonde!) hair and that she could pass for her daddy's twin. (Maybe I was in a state of denial, because even in the ultrasounds she so obviously looked like her daddy - ha!)

With all of the unknowns, there was one constant truth that never changed...One year ago today, as this precious face was "sleeping" inside of me and my life was about to forever change, I knew without a doubt that I loved her. 

And today, as she sleeps beside me, I love this sweet face even more than I ever knew I could.